Excellent communication is an art, not a science. One strategy may work beautifully with one person and bomb with another. Having said that, there are some practices that will consistently improve your communication prowess. 

It is well documented we operate from automatic and unconscious preferences in our communication. If you are a logical person, you tackle tough subjects with ease. If you appreciate order in your life, you respond well to structured communication that does not waste your time. The list of preferences goes on and on. If you do not know what your natural born preference are, you will impose your needs on others. The price you pay is disconnects, disputes and lost productivity.

The fastest and most powerful way to uncover your own preferences and learn to communicate to the needs of others is to become a student of temperament. My recently published book Elevate Your Career: Live a Life You’re Truly Proud Of offers detailed temperament descriptions, case studies and a temperament reference appendix. 

Listening is an act of generosity. It helps you gain credibility, loyalty and trust. No doubt, the payoff is immense. Never the less, poor listening is rampant. People interrupt, minds wander and assumptions block new information. Building listening skills requires constant effort. It’s much like going to the gym. It is a muscle you must work on constantly.

Sadly, you may not have an accurate view of your listening abilities, especially if you have power over the people you communicate with. Take time to ask the people you work with a couple of simple questions:

• How would you describe my listening skills?
• What could I do to improve?
• How would better listening on my part improve your career/productivity?

This will take a bit of courage on your part. The payoff will be significant.

“It’s not what you said, it’s how you said it!” When emotions run high, your tone changes, usually to convey impatience or anger. This become magnified if you are delivering a suggestion or criticism. In communication lingo, we call this paralanguage. It is your tone, volume and pacing (how quickly or slowly you deliver your message). Somewhat like listening, self-awareness and practice are the keys to improving your paralanguage. Start by noticing people’s facial expression when you are communicating. Do they look sad, angry or disconnected? Chances are, your tone could be improved.

In face-to-face communication, body language is the dominant force. A whooping 55% of your impact in communication has nothing to do with your words or your paralanguage. Its your stance, eye contact, smile and gestures. You are a walking message board, sharing information without saying a word.

Improving your body language is fairly easy. Learn how to make comfortable eye contact, smile frequently and stand with confidence. Remove physical barriers to communication, like a big desk between you and your guests. 

Even on a Zoom call, your body language is broadcasting. Monitor your facial expressions, stop looking down at your phone and position your monitor so your audience is not looking up your nose (you know what I mean!).

There is a huge gap between the speed of your speech and the brain processing speed of your listener. The average person speaks 115-120 words per minute. The average brain processes 600 to 800 words per minute. Every trick or tool you can find to keep the attention of the people you speak to is precious.

Here are a few of my favorite attention grabbers:

• Do your homework. Know what is important to your audience.
• Build bridges. Find common ground.
• Use visual aids and ask for feedback.
• Provide advance information and follow-up with valuable resources.
• Speak with confidence and energy.
• Trash the PowerPoint slides, except for great visuals that tell your story.
• Start on time and end on time.

Ugg, I can hear you groaning now. You are terrible at remembering people’s names. Guess what, we all are. It’s not a natural talent, it’s a chosen skill. About 5 years ago I attended a presentation by Michael Allosso, professional actor, speaker and communication expert. He convinced me to become adept at remembering people’s names. 

My husband and I took on the challenge and here’s what happened:

• Waiters at restaurants (remember doing that?) have given us unparalleled service.
• We have been upgraded at hotels.
• We have relationships with the staff at Home Depot and our grocery store.

The list goes on. 

The best advice I can give you to remember names is to make an association. The receptionist at my hair dresser is Lana (I associate her with the patch of lawn outside the front door). You have to pause and think about the association. If you have time, jot down some notes about the person. Over time, you’ll get better and better, never perfect, and that’s OK.

Communication mastery will enhance every aspect of your life. Pick one of the above steps and get started. Even a small improvement in your communication methods will offer compounded benefits in both your personal and professional life.