Sure, the word controlling is strong. But when it comes to networking to find a job, I find it best to be blunt. You benefit from controlling the conversation, the impression you leave, and, perhaps most important, your follow-up.

Your number one goal is to make each person you meet feel successful. Most people want to help, but the way you frame your strategy and approach to your job search can limit or eliminate their ability to help you.

Let’s break this down:

Control the Conversation:

If you don’t guide the conversation, it can drift into small talk. To avoid this, ask targeted questions that reflect the excellent research you have done into your desired industry and role. Keep the exchange focused on your career goals and strengths.

Address any Baggage Directly:

If you are meeting with someone you have a history with, be sure to clear up any past conflicts or misconceptions. Leaving them lurking in the background will undermine your efforts and theirs.

Control the Impression you Leave:

Position yourself clearly by sharing relevant achievements. Frame your experience strategically. People are more likely to help someone who seems purposeful.

Control the Follow-Up:

Here’s where the biggest pitfalls lie. Many people you network with will offer to send your resume to an influential person they know. They think this is helpful, but it’s not. You lose control. You don’t know if they sent it, and you have no good way to follow up. Ask them to call the influential person and pitch your amazing qualifications. Then you send the resume to a warm lead. Things go much more smoothly, and you remain in charge.

If you are trying to find a job, you already know that applying for listed jobs is mostly useless. Online job sites make it easy for hundreds or thousands of people to apply. At some point, humans need to narrow the pool down. Their favorite default is to hire someone they already know and skip the overwhelming job scenario.

So, focus on networking and be a control freak about it. You will save time and improve the quality of your outcome.