A number of years ago, a thirty-three-year-old paralegal named

Carlos came into my office seeking career coaching. Carlos explained he recently completed law school and was attempting to pass the bar exam. He had failed three times. He was married and had two children. Carlos was motivated to be a successful provider, husband, and father. He came from a wealthy family, so his identity was wrapped around being able to buy an upscale home, send his kids to private schools, and afford fancy vacations. In his mind, being an attorney was the path to this lifestyle.

In our first meeting, I asked him a number of basic questions. Did he enjoy working with complex issues and legal puzzles? Carlos did not hesitate to bluntly say no, he just went into law because it was what his father did. I then asked him, “What do you really enjoy doing?” He later told me he almost walked out of my office at that moment. If that insipid question was the best help I could offer, he was wasting his time…..